The Question Box

Q:  I stopped going to church and practicing the Catholic Faith after my first year of college. I did not like reading and hearing about various Catholic Church scandals. However, lately, I have been thinking about returning to the Church but I don’t know where to start. Do you have any thoughts or suggestions?

A: You are certainly not alone in feeling turned off by the various scandals, notably those surrounding priests who sexually exploited and betrayed minors entrusted to their pastoral care as well as the bishops and other church authorities who seemed to turn a blind eye to it. It has been a sobering and disheartening few years. All Catholics, priests included, have had our hearts broken.

A lot of healing needs to happen --- on many levels. One important step in this process should be the celebration of the sacrament of reconciliation. After all, that is what you are really seeking: to be reconciled to a church that you love but that you now know can fail and has failed in terrible, hurtful ways. We sometimes think of the sacrament of reconciliation (penance) as a meeting with a priest where we confess our sins and are forgiven, pretty much of a one-way street. In this instance, though, I am suggesting a ceremony of mutual forgiveness and deep heart-felt reconciliation on all sides: yours, the church’s (symbolized by the priest), and (yes!) Christ’s.

So this is what I suggest. Make an appointment with an understanding priest to celebrate the sacrament and, once there, share exactly what you have shared in your question. For your part you will need to share about your heartbreak but also about your (understandable) decision to leave church practice for a while and how it has left you feeling sad. The priest (in his role as official representative of the church) will comfort you but also talk about the sin of the church and ask your forgiveness as well. Please remember that the priest you see will have had many of the feelings of hurt, pain and frustration that you had. It will be a blessing to him if in your process of sharing you acknowledge his painful hurt as well.

Bless you and all like you who have suffered through this time of pain and now seek to renew commitment to the community of the Church. We are all brothers and sisters in the Lord, children of grace.

Paul D. Huesing, C.S.P.

Q-Box Intro  Q-Box History  •  Current Question  •  Send Us Your Question  •
•  Schedule Highlights  •